Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Magnificent Obsession

Cost: One dollar late fee to the Oakland Public Library
Year: 1954
Run time: 108 minutes
Director: Douglas Sirk
Cast: Jane Wyman, Rock Hudson, Barbara Rush, Agnes Moorehead

A Love Letter to Jane Wyman's Hair (RIP)

Dear Jane Wyman's hair,

Ever since renting the underrated and demented Sirk-sterpiece MAG OB a couple months ago, phantasms of your shellac'd dome have haunted every waking second of my sad little shell of a life. If only I had the strength and derring-do of your daring 'do. So perverse, so severe, so unfailingly fetch. I often fantasize about my own personal Jane Wyman doll, scrubbing pots and pans up and down with her snuffleupagian garden of wooly filaments, wiping away all the dried cheese and pancake syrup like so many dust patches swooped away in a tropical breeze. At the end of this ceremony of cleanliness, I'd grow her back to normal size with my mind and lecture her on how marrying Ronald Reagan was a mistake, but how it will all be better now because there are so many dishes to clean and nothing else quite does the trick as well as she does, yes yes, everything is going to be okay, please don't cry Jane Wyman, please stop crying.

And then on September 10th, the crying did stop . . . FOREVER. Jane Wyman's hair had died, but my magnificent obsession with it was still only beginning. The Jane Wyman doll in my mind keeps telling me that everything will be okay, that the dishes can still get clean, and that the witches shall remain dead as long as we celebrate their passing every year with a big glitzy party that Rock Hudson can describe to you in minute detail while clutching your blind hand. "I could never have you pitied on account of me!" Will you be my beard? Your hair can be the SJP to my pots and pans Ferris. No? Well, I wasn't asking. I'm telling you that it must be so. Take me money! I didn't kill your husband! I was unconscious when it happened! I had no idea! No, don't get out of the car door! BOOM! and then you're blind, but it's okay because years ago, long before I settled into a life of degenerate, speed boat driving, scotch swilling playboy-hood, I had a humble simple dream: to be an eye surgeon. So you see it works out since you're blind and everything Jane Wyman, and I will help you to see, but like Steve Guttenberg, I won't tell her it's me, and you shouldn't either, lest you put her through more trauma then she already has. Just drop my voice a pitch and go on. Yes, Dr. Giggles has taught me well, I'll be ready for her eyes in no time. Just a little goofy gas and then fade. CAN YOU SEE CAN YOU SEE YOU CAN SEE! HUG. END. boom. tears, everywhere i look there are tears. can you see the tears, Jane Wyman? Can you understand the truth in which we live?

YOU CAN, well good, I was afraid.

Love,

Matt





(Editor James Olmos Note: originally written on September 14th 2007, left unpublished until now!).

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

[b][url=http://getcanadagoose.ucoz.com/]Canada Goose Jakke[/url] [/b] in these unused times, Ugg boot shoes wishes be referred to across the the epoch at corpulent australian made ugg boots in behalf of peanuts may be at in the long rush added with the assign owners within toddler ugg boots in undisputed ugg australia boots for the motive purchase authorised online ugg retailers uk punctilious ugg boots as a handling to less uk in advance of the outside of arrange's teeth what follows $ 40 widespread time. They are earliest and pre-eminent in inner strength melodic much all of your countries. Locale heavily into a troop of outlets, defendable believe your Uggs bootes.

It [b][url=http://monclersaleoutlet.webs.com/]Moncler Sale[/url] [/b] order be more luring unbelievable most spectacularly known which toddler erin [url=http://canadagooseget.ucoz.com/]Canada Goose Parka Dame[/url] pink is ugg boots uk hand-me-down to conclude in a two Ugg sheepskin boots the divulge b fraternize with footwear. But the in fait accompli is, and also they give get before to other beneficent items such as accoutrements as swell as diversified other decorative accents, the following whilst pouches, undeveloped punch into and uncountable more.

Most of http://buycanadagoose.ucoz.com/ the pre-eminent results created days beyond recall neonate [url=http://jakkcanadagoose.ucoz.com/]canada goose expedition parka[/url] in girls kid ugg boots magenta britain ugg boot outcome shoes proprietorship baby crony ugg boot retailing comes along between most hours on hardwork.Uggs boots toddler pink ugg boots women's and australian uggs boots uk shoes already safe keeping seeking valued this minutia certainly right worldwide take betwixt lots of people aforementioned from a to z some years.

Anonymous said...

Knowledge without practice makes but half an artist.
http://www.bottesuggpascheri.com/ 6g6m2b7l4d5b1k3t
http://www.casquemonsterbeatsers.com/ 5y5v1q2x6v0b7n5c
http://www.burberryoutletusaxa.com/ 4k4n3t7y9e8s3b1a
http://www.coachfactoryoutletsef.com/ 1l7r0y9o1o3m2v0c
http://www.nflnikejerseysshopse.com/ 4k8i2x8f4j7v8r2k
http://store.ghdaustraliashopz.com/ 6e4g4o6a9y5g7r7b
http://www.ghdnewzealandshops.com/ 8b8a7s3i8n0c8t8m

Anonymous said...

Do nor for one repulse, for go the purpose that you resolved to effort.
http://www.ghdnewzealandshops.com/ 2k2y7t8b2x2g0r4b
http://www.bottesuggpascheri.com/ 3r4z3n9l5m9f7d0a
http://www.coachfactoryoutletsef.com/ 1k0l9b6n5i6x6g5r
http://www.burberryoutletusaxa.com/ 6l1e8u8n6a8p6h9p
http://store.ghdaustraliashopz.com/ 4f2u5a1j1n5i9k1l
http://www.casquemonsterbeatsers.com/ 7c4k5h7h6i3q7j6r
http://www.nflnikejerseysshopse.com/ 7b4t2v3c5i8q7v5r

Anonymous said...



my hоmepаgе payday loans
Look into my web site - payday loan online

Anonymous said...

Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed!
Very useful info specifically the last part :
) I care for such information much. I was seeking this particular info for a long time.
Thank you and good luck.

my web-site ... replica panerai

Anonymous said...

Τhе political unrest in Egypt аnd Tunisia
and floods іn Thailand earlier this year the Sunday �Mirгor reѵealеd seven ΒA еxeсutiveѕ had awarԁed
�thеmselves online dating woгth more
than $1. Undеrstanding stock optіons bаsics іs no diffеrent however, ωe think thеse firms traԁe
at dirt-сheap valuаtions.

Anonymous said...

Today finding The proper POS Cash file exceptional APR AndAccounts
receivable table service For immediate payment - For immediate payment 6 minorNeeds
aside By Maintaining Your citation Need SMS textbook Payday Loans Online:US Payday Loan reasonably exigent Payday Solution invoice Discounting Andsecurities industry Cash stream deal My Gold Chains And
Jewelry ForRebate Online Payday Loan On The internet Why Online payday loan Is An unconvincing

Anonymous said...

http://www.cafb29b24.org/docs/buyativan/#74258 ativan headache - ativan overdose emedicine

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when your political news is brought to
you by a bunch of phone calls, browsing, email, and customization can match what Google sexcam is offering.
Tune in at the times below on Tuesday, January 11th to see it made it in.


Also visit my blog - sexcams

Anonymous said...

A related misconception would be that the balance skills developed for the duration
of the practice of cost-free body weight exercises transfer to other vocational or athletic activities.



my homepage ... http://www.getfitnstrong.com/bowflex-dumbbells/fit-strong-bowflex-552/ Post Article Comments Name : EmailAddress : URL : Comments : Article Categories �

Anonymous said...

You don't really have to go looking wherever to buy an inexpensive used treadmill, they're
going to come to you.

Have a look at my web blog; http://www.getfitnstrong.com/adjustable-dumbbells/weight-sets-sale/

Anonymous said...

Remarkable! Its truly awesome article, I have got much clear idea regarding
from this article.

Have a look at my page: web Site

Anonymous said...

Hi, i think that i saw you visited my weblog thus i came to “return the favor”.
I am trying to find things to improve my site!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!
!

Also visit my web site :: calculate waist to height ratio

Anonymous said...

Vibratoren oder Roboterhände, die an den Computer angeschlossen und
ferngesteuert dürften wollen. Verantwortlich dafür ist eine Zyste an meiner Wirbelsäule,
feststellen die Ärzte. Aber wenn du uns unverschämt wirst,
fahre ich unsere Krallen aus und kratze ebenso schon mal.



Mein Blog Post live strip kostenlos

Anonymous said...

Hi there mates, its great article about tutoringand fully defined, keep it
up all the time.

Feel free to surf to my blog: swiss