Thursday, November 1, 2007

Amityville II: The Possession

Price: 75 cents (110 minutes of your life)
Year: 1982
Length: 110 minutes of spooky!
Director: Damiano Damiani
Cast: Burt Young, James Olson, Rutanya Alda, Diane Franklin, Jack Magner

This is an important film.

It is about what happens when you let the voices in your walkman convince you that sleeping with your hot sister was wrong and that you should kill all yr family members to appease the house you moved to or else it will shake around and move things to where they don't belong (like a blanket on a light fixture, what wants that?). If you do it with a shotgun, even better. If the creepy priest who also want(s(ed)) to bone yr h of a sis tries to reenact THE EXORCIST for the last half hour of the movie even better. This is what important films do.

It also helps if you look like Craig from Degrassi TNG animorphed with just a touch of latter day Wacko Jacko Coke Septum Erosion.

It also helps if you easily confuse the phrase testicles and tentacles.
But before we let the dirt in my teenage mustache coalesce into a serum of defeat, I must address the most important asspect of this great American movie . . . oh wait, i already talked about the incest themes . . . huh, that about does it for point of innarest in this one. Burt Young does some great acting with his cigar chomping scotch swilling inarticulation that certainly seems much more worthy of the TITle mumblecore than a bunch of ennui leaden movies about quirky hiptards feeling sorry for they selves. The way he beats his children and wife while simultaneously not spilling his drink or managing a single discernible human sound is the kind of acting often forgotten about in this post-John Ritter apocalypto of a filmy land. I wish he was in more movies. He was good in the rocky balboa movie, he was drunk a lot, and then i think he died or something, either way it was very very sad. I liked when he got a robot for his borthday in that one rockie movie. it made me smile. Happy Halloween!

1 comment:

Dakota Moss said...

Mumblecore? Do you mean movies about dancing penguins?